Monday, September 19, 2011

SPEAKING MY MIND........................................

"If you make it plain you like people, it's hard for them to resist liking you back."
Lois McMaster Bujold



I've opened my post today with a photo of angel's wings.....because I believe all of us are spiritual beings living in a human body.  It really doesn't matter your belief.....I think all beliefs should be respected....we may disagree with one another...but we should recognize there are many differences in this world of ours.
Which brings me to the focus of this post.


I received an e-mail from a very kind blogging friend....she has taken a little break from blogging...this is the reason why.
In her e-mail she told me there were some personal issues....which we all have...but she also mentioned she had been receiving some very unkind comments on her blog.  


Now I ask you.....why do some bloggers do this???  We have more than enough nastiness in this world of ours.....why  bring it into the lovely world of blogging.  Each of us blogs for a different reason...and ALL of us have our own set of standards and beliefs....and I am not trying to be a "pollyanna" but I do feel if you can't say something kind....why must you say anything at all?


I know you put yourself out there when you get on the net....and it is fine to speak your mind....but I believe you should do it it in a thoughtful way.



This is just me thinking out loud again today. 

How do all of you feel about this??


Hugs,


Jo


P.S.  we leave tomorrow morning....will check in with you when I can 

32 comments:

  1. Hi Jo
    I think most of us agree with what you have posted today... and I have to say all in all blogging has been a wonderful surprise for me. I have met so many lovely women but there is sometimes those people that are so unhappy in themselves they have to lash out. Those that do, should have no influence on my blogging, one considers the source and moves on. This isn't a perfect world and neither is the blogging world, it is too bad but I do believe things happen for a reason and I go on from there. I am not saying it doesn't hurt, but I do not allow it to linger. A few bad bloggers will not ruin the whole experience for me... I will not give them that much power. This has been so much fun and it has brought so many lovely women into my life, I am grateful.
    Blessings
    Rebecca

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  2. I also don't understand why people have to be so nasty in their comments. I may disagree with something someone says and that's definitely okay. But I usually don't comment then because it's their blog and their life. That doesn't mean that I don't want to read their blog any more. I could go on and on because I am really tired of the meanness that has invaded our world. Wish we were leaving in the morning. Have a safe trip.

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  3. I've been through that myself. I remember back at Easter, I had posted an innocent childhood memory of Easter's past and mom's dressing me in an Easter outfit, and ended up being harassed about religious beliefs. It went on for several days and then ended when the person saw I was ignoring her.
    Mary

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  4. I totally agree with you. Why bother leaving an unkind comment. Does that make their day? We DO all blog for our own reasons. I'll be curious to see what others say:) Have a wonderful week:)
    ~Debra xxx
    Capers of the vintage vixens

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  5. First let me just say I love the angel wings & the fleur de lis! Now, about your dear blog friend! I totally understand why she has taken a break. As you know, I created this particular blog to get away from nastiness that was happening on my other blog (which I still write on, but not nearly as much as before) Interesting you should post this today, because my post on M&M is called "It Doesn't Hurt to Be Kind". I don't understand why people have to be unkind. Never have understood it, and I guess I never will. Great post! ~Hugs to you & your sweet friend, so sorry she is going through this. ~xoxo M

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  6. So sorry your friend had to go through that. I do believe the old saying " if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing " .
    One of the things I love about blogging is the kind people I meet and the friendships formed. It is sad that there are mean people out there. I hope your friend can find a way to block the rude comments and find her way back to blogging with kind and lovely people.
    hugs~

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  7. Hello Jo,
    I agree with you. I believe that if you don't have anything nice to say, well don't say anything at all. Imagine how life would be if we would all reach out with kindness to one another both in words and in actions. A couple of times I have had someone use my comments to leave inappropriate and hateful messages. I just deleted them.

    xo,
    Danielle

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  8. You probably already know that I share your spiritual view of people. I believe we all live in an eternal state of perfect grace, no matter our faith. I'm sorry about the comments on your friend's blog. I think we can disagree with compassion and respect. Commenters on my blog don't always agree with me. That's fine. But I won't post comments that are rude or include personal attacks. Actually, I've only gotten a very few of those. If I got lots, I would probably become discouraged like your friend. That is really too bad.

    The concept of right speech in Buddhism suggests answering three questions--Is what I'm about to say true, necessary, kind? Or put another way, Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence? We should all ask this before we comment!

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  9. Hi Jo..beautiful post..gorgeous wings!Sorry your friend has been hurt by the unkind!

    tell your beautiful friend..to enjoy her break..but hurry back when she feels strong..to dust herself off and SHINE brightly..and keep shining..do not let another person's negative energy alter your path in life..even just a blog..if it is something you enjoy..let your spirit rise above those negative souls...and create and share and shine!! Hope she feels better soon!i think the most powerful thing to do..is to let that person know..they have no power at all..and just continue to blog your heart out!
    hugs
    Victoria

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  10. I am a believer of NICE MATTERS!
    It so really does.
    Dottie

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  11. Beautiful and thoughtful post, Jo. Your friend must be a wonderful person who has struck a nerve with someone's unhappiness with themselves. They try to make themselves feel better by demeaning others. Bless you for your kindness towards her.

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  12. I hope your friend keeps blogging. Life is too short to take negative comments to heart. Those who give them are shallow and have nothing better to do but to send bad vibes around. Kill 'em with kindness--and if that doesn't work, just ignore them.

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  13. If you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all holds true on the worldwide web just as it does in real life. I don't understand why some people just feel the need to lash out to say negative things. It's people like that that cause all the problems, intolerance and hatred in this world. I say live and let live. No one is forced to read a blog or to agree with everything anyone says. Just move on if you don't like something. Wishing safe travels. Best wishes, Tammy

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  14. Oh your poor friend, Jo...

    I completely understand, when I was hosting the battle of the blogs on my blog, I received so many sarcastic and unkind emails from those who didn't approve, from those who wanted me stop allowing guest posts, from those who wanted censorship on it. It was very bizarre and I was having a hard time understanding why people were spending so much time critiquing my blog, it forced me to quit for some time, and then I realized it was my blog. I often do not understand why people just don't move on from a blog, if they do not like the content of it. I hope your friend will reconsider and not being bullied out of something she enjoys.

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  15. Indeed, there is enough nastiness out and about, someone is blogging their meanness. I hope your friend returns to blogging, she could make the blog private. Or just ignore and edit comments.

    I hate to see other people hurt. Life is to short to be mean and nasty.

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  16. Small minded people write ugly and small minded comments. My sister has a theory about this kind of behavior...if you'll pardon my French.

    S**T rolls down hill. Sooner or later ugliness will slap those people where the sun doesn't shine.
    Ask your dear friend to get back to work...we need more of her out in blogland and less of the offender.
    Hugs~

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  17. I have to agree with you. There is just too much ugliness in the world for me to intentionally add more to it. Sad that some people have to be that way, I've had a few comments like that also and I find them very hurtful. I mean, these are people who don't really know me at all and they are judging. Just wrong in my book!

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  18. Bullying is everywhere and I'm sorry it causes someone to stop doing what they love. That's too bad. I agree with you Jo, we all come from the same pot, no matter how much it's stirred. So just be nice...

    BTW, I hope you've put your wings back on now :) See you soon!

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  19. I like to write spiritual poetry so it will appeal to everyone. I agree with
    you that we should all respect everyone's beliefs. Most of the posts I
    have read on Blogger honor this.

    I notice many people on here prefer to screen their comments, luckily I
    have not had any reason to put that into place yet. Everyone has been
    very kind to me.

    Screening could be an option for your friend but, the thing is you still
    read the comment in private and it still is implanted in your memory.

    There should be a way to report these kind of actions and have the
    guilty party banned from the site. Perhaps there is something in place
    but I a m fairly new to this site.

    I hope the situation can be resolved and that your friend can feel
    at home again expressing her feelings soon.

    Sharon

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  20. Trolls are emboldened by the anonymity of the internet. But all they really do is reveal the ugliness of their own minds.

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  21. I have to say, I appreciate a bit of fine sarcastic humor, but outright meanness would be very discouraging. Differing opinions are nice, especially when shared in a nice way. I am sorry when anyone stops blogging because of mean comments.

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  22. sweet friend
    i come here to
    give sweet comments
    and love to receive
    sweet comments...
    Rebecca comment #1
    says it all...
    blessings!
    ~victoria~

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  23. hello sweet friend...
    i'm having a little trouble leaving a comment on your site so i'll just tell you that Rebecca in your first comment took the words right out of my mouth...
    and i totally agree with Dottie ~ NICE MATTERS
    BEAR HUGS
    ~victoria~

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  24. I couldn't agree more, Jo. Thank you for posting this - a little kindness goes a long, long way.
    ~ Zuzu

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  25. It just breaks my heart that the world has many who feel the need to tear others down to somehow bring themselves up.

    Mama was right when she preached "if ya can't say anything nice...don't say anything at all!"

    I'd sooner pull my teeth than to tear down another's spirit.

    Great post and I so sorry for you friend.

    You have yourself a marvelously blessed day sweetie!!!

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  26. Oh Dear Jo I am so very sorry to hear of your Friend's negative experience here in the Land Of Blog. I have had it only happen to me once & I was shocked & hurt, but I refused to allow an unlovely experience & a troubled person unduly influence what I believe to be an enriching experience overall. I strongly believe that hurting people have a tendency to hurt people, it's not an excuse, since there is never a good reason for bad behavior, but it is often an explanation I ponder in order to extend Grace to someone who has been unlovely towards me or attacked me personally. I never know the backend story of these unfortunate individuals who feel the need to express themselves in a hurtful way so all I can do is forgive them and pray for them, that they may perhaps be convicted of how hurtful their words or actions are towards the recipients of their anger, fears or bias. I Pray that your Friend heals from the experience and once again rejoins us in this wonderful Community where the majority of people are kind, friendly and generous beyond words.

    Thank you for stopping by to say such sweet words about our newest Princess. Be sure Great Aunt Dawn will be spoiling her.

    Blessings and Love from the Arizona Desert... Dawn... The Bohemian

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  27. I agree, being new in blogland, it is always sad when I hear this. I can't imagine why and who resorts to such petty meanness. Gramma would not be happy with their manners. Thanks for sharing. One of your followers said she just ignored them and I guess that is all we can do. Pass the kindness on. Kathy

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  28. I agree with you Jo. The spoken word is powerful but also the written. At work lately I have noticed I have been a little more vocal about things which disappoint me. I have been doing some soul searching just this week on what I can do to change that. I thought about wearing a braclet or something as a reminder to control my tongue. To be only nice and love those who I do not understand. You are absolutely right... Life is to short to be mean. Love your blog more each day.

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  29. AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! My sentiments exactly! XO

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  30. Hello Jo... just stopped in to read your post once more and read of all the comments today too... you have a fabulous following of ladies and I sooo appreciate their support! (and yours!)... I am not a weak or timid person as you know, and I do not get intimidated... but I am also a sensitive person and do get hurt feelings, especially as I am still recovering from surgery when all of this happened... I do not make excuses for bad behavior, and like so many of the ladies said "nice matters"... I am a nice lady to everyone, but there comes a time to draw the line... taking a break was just what I needed... I miss all of my dear blogging friends and will be back soon!... xoxo Julie Marie

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  31. I'm so sorry to hear that your friend has been receiving nasty comments, Jo. I don't understand either why people would do this sort of thing...it's just cruel and uncalled for. Your friend could always choose to moderate comments although it would still mean her having to see the mean words. I so wish people could be more considerate of the feelings of others. :(

    Julie Marie, I just read your comment and realise that you have been dealing with these nasty comments. I've been lucky so far but, like you, I'm very sensitive and would be feeling hurt under the same circumstances. Thank goodness the positives in the blogging community far outweigh the negatives. Know too that some people out there think it's fun to browse blogs leaving mean comments on purpose. They're not worth paying heed to. xo

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  32. It is not nice to say something nasty about anything!!!
    If you don't have nice to say then don't say anything at all...isn't that what Thumper's mom said?
    I know people should have a right to say what is on their mind...but why on someone's blog?
    Thank you for stopping by for a visit and leaving your sweet comment :-)
    Enjoy your day!!!
    Suzann ~xoxo~

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Your comments enrich my soul. I love hearing from you.

ON WISDOM............................................

"THE ART OF WISDOM IS KNOWING WHEN TO SPEAK YOUR MIND....AND WHEN TO MIND YOUR SPEECH." Don't know where I found t...