PONDERING............JUST MY THOUGHTS TODAY........


"To be able to look back upon one's life in satisfaction ~ is to live twice."
Khalil Gibran




Being a woman "of a certain age" I can honestly say I spend some of my time pondering over my life as I have lived it.

I have made many, many, many mistakes and have hurt many people in the process.
I have tried to make amends when possible and have tried not to keep repeating the SAME mistake over and over.  Sometimes that has been easier said than done.

However, more often than not, I feel fairly satisfied with my life.  Let me clarify this statement....this is not my life with my children...or my life with family.....but my OWN LIFE.

I have finally been able to forgive myself for earlier mistakes and come to realize that I really did do the best I could have done at the time....with the tools I had in my tool belt.  Now I would do a lot of things differently today.....but you know what they say about hindsight.  

I have tried to spend my life "making memories" and for the most part I have succeeded.  I have spent a good deal of my life "in recovery" and have worked on spiritual aspects of myself for most of my life.....and since we are all "a work in progress" am still doing that. 

Each day that passes I make sure to put the memory in the vault...to be able to retrieve it in later years.....because if the truth be known......that is all many of us will have in later years.

I want to be able to look back on my life with satisfaction and to be able to LIVE IT TWICE.

How about you dear friends? 

Jo
photo credit:  Turn of the Century~Tumbler.com

Comments

  1. I enjoy the good, learn from the bad and try to learn something new everyday. Everything is one day at a time. I am on a journey and when I am finished with this journey here on earth, then I hope to continue on in heaven.

    xo,
    Danielle

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  2. Yep i can relate to this post too!
    I don't like to look back too much i see too many mistakes. When i do look back it always make me realise even more why i moved so far from home. I have more appreciation and gratitude since moving too!

    Pamela xo

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  3. Such a wonderful post and sounds like you wrote it for me. I, too, have made so many mistakes and tried to make amends to all those possible. And, when not possible, such as those who have passed away, I wrote them a letter which I burned and released into the Universe.
    Mary

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  4. When I was young, I didn't realize how many memories would end up being bittersweet in the long run. I know better now. It pisses me off sometimes, but c'est la vie.

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  5. Lovely post Jo, I am 50 years old, and as I age I gain knowlege, and skills, and tools for my tool belt! I, like you, have made many mistakes, but I do not regret..for I feel there were valuable lessons learned with every mistake, every rectification, and every effort to rectify. As I look back now, I am certain hindsight would change my life drastically..but perhaps not the quality, for the memories would change as well, and the person we grow to become (and are still striving to be) would not be the same. I am still working on becoming the person I want to be..it's a long, and winding road..but I think we all get there. xoxo Christel

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  6. I do try to make choices going forward with the knowledge I've learned from some very painful lessons but I am not quite to a place where I can forgive myself yet. Working, working, working.

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  7. Mistakes are part of life,but to think about them is the real mistake,I have asked myself perfection for many years,after I understood that it was a stupid sacrify and now I have to start to build my future from the scratch,because I have lost my personality...sometimes I look back yet,but it need times to change in better yourself.

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  8. Hi Jo...what a powerful and beautiful post...i love everything you wrote...very touching.. healing and empowering! You are a woman full of strength..beauty and inspiration..HUgs!!
    thanks for this powerful gem today! I love creating memories too..they are special and sacred!
    victoria

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  9. I'm already a crazy woman lately. I can't even ponder without semi-suicidal thoughts. I'll get back to you on this.

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  10. What a beautiful post. I too have hurt people along the way and am very sorry for it. I have changed and can sleep knowing I will try very hard not to hurt people in the future.

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  11. This is a lovely post and exactly what I'm pondering right now. So glad to have found your blog!

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  12. My sister, a very old soul, is right at 6 years older than I and she has taught me so much. One of those things is that when I make a mistake that I should show myself the same compassion and respect that I would another who is younger than I and whom I love. I always try to remember that. Mistakes are part of being human.

    We are all growing and evolving each day and I am always thankful for that. In this wisdom we can learn forgiveness for ourselves as well as others. Blessings to you, sweet Jo.

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  13. I wish I could say I have spent a good deal of my life in recovery; but it seems that I am only now beginning my own journey of recovery. I loved this heartfelt post! You are so loved my sweet Jo~Hugs, M

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  14. What a lovely quote and a lovely post. There are a few mistakes I still cringe over, still working on that self forgiveness. From here on out, I will have much to look back on with satisfaction, but my earlier years?? Hmmmm....

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  15. I think so many of us can relate to this post. I have regrets in my life, but knowing I can 't go back I try to move forward and do my best.
    Blessings~

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  16. Finally able to comment again! This problem is getting old. Anyway, just wanted to say I love how you talk to us, straight from that big heart of yours. You know I can relate....But to live it twice? I'd probably make the same mistakes again, or even new ones. My vaulted *bad choices* are locked away in the past, where they usually stay. When they do come out, it's not good. I know I can't change them, I've tried to learn from them, and life goes on regardless. Keep being the beautiful soul you've become in spite of the bad memories. You have a special place in my heart.....

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  17. A wonderful post. Without mistakes, we would learn very little. I have many of the books of Gibran, wish everyone would read him.

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  18. You know Jo your post today spoke to my heart!!
    Long ago I put despair away
    when I cast bread upon the water, knowing after many days ...it would return to me.
    Smile ,Dottie

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  19. Thanks for sharing your heartfelt thoughts. I still have a long way too go, but don't know the way sometimes.

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  20. I can only hope and pray that now I do my best.

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  21. I have such a bad memory so I hope all my photos will help be when I am older and want to remember all the wonderful moments I cherish.

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