Tuesday, January 10, 2012

HI AGAIN......I'M HERE WITH MY LESSON IN TOW............


If I slow down long enough....and REALLY pay attention....I can usually figure out where I have missed the mark.
I've visited with a few friends...and listened to their input...which I value greatly...their open sharing always seems to make the load a little lighter.

Anyone who has followed me for any length of time knows of the addiction problems that have troubled my family for generations.  This disease can stay in families for generations and one can certainly become worn out fighting the battle.

My sweet husband and I are no exception.  In fact, our tendency is just to want to ignore the problem, get them out of jams, ignore their hurt and ILLNESS and carry on with OUR LIFE.  It does not mean we don't care....it just means that we are so uncomfortable with the situation and so very tired of having to deal with it.  Well.....we are still in the middle of the mess.....however....with a change in tactics.....I hope we can see some light at the end of the tunnel.

We  are determined to stay put and LISTEN........REALLY LISTEN....to them. We will no longer  tell them it is their problem...not ours....IT IS OUR PROBLEM......  Don't get me wrong....we cannot make anyone stop their destructive behavior..but we can love them and stand by them without judging them.....no matter what the outcome.

Thus the title of this post....."You can run.....but you cannot hide."  This disease is in my family.....it is here to stay.......but I am ready to look it straight in the eye....and do what is necessary to keep my serenity and hopefully give that same gift to those I love.

That does not mean giving up my life to save theirs....nor does it mean I have huge expectations....but it does mean that I will truly love them as they are
warts and all....even when it hurts.....ESPECIALLY when it hurts.

Thanks for letting me share today..

xo

Jo


15 comments:

  1. Jo~ I'm so glad that you have such a loving support system in your life. It's probably THE most important thing we can have on our side as women and especially as the loved one of someone who struggles with addiction and/or alcoholism.

    I'll be keeping you and your family in my prayers and sending my very best wishes for strength, peace of mind and most of all love.

    Blessings,
    Mary (Mrs B)

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  2. Love is never easy is it? Warts and all you are a dear family member to those in need.
    Hugs~

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  3. Wise words Jo, love them while you can. Just remember to take care of yourselves too. This sickness can tear you apart. My love and thoughts are with you....

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  4. I was raised with alcoholic parents, and know the struggles addiction brings. My prayers are with you, and your husband Jo. Stay strong, and fight the good fight! There truly is light at the end of the tunnel. xoxo Christel

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  5. Blessings, Jo! I feel your pain..it just makes one feel so helpless to not be able to do anything except listen and love- xo Diana

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  6. heartfelt
    and a tender subject for me, as this was the very thing that took my sons life.
    sucks

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  7. Tough stuff. Our family is struggling with the younger generation's addictions. We are hoping, hoping, that they will be able to break the cycle that we were unable to do.
    Listening.
    That is a key.
    And accepting
    that we passed those genes along.

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  8. Shine on Jo..you are awesome..your post was powerful..keep shining..I loved all thta you said!
    HUgs
    Victoria

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  9. Jo, it sounds like you are taking the right approach. Help where you can, but remember to keep your life intact. I have learned that every family has problems, and no one is immune to it. It helps me to not feel so alone when something happens in my family.

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  10. {{{{{Jo}}}}}} Sending you a HUGE hug!!

    Love,
    LuLu~*xoxo

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  11. Hi, my name is Heather! Please email me when you can, I have a question about your blog!

    HeatherVonSJ[at]gmail[dot]com

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  12. Hi, my name is Heather! Please email me when you can, I have a question about your blog!

    HeatherVonSJ[at]gmail[dot]com

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  13. Josette, I was glad I stopped in. I have that problem also. I have given so much time and money in the past and they just won't head my advice. OPPPs in trouble again. I am doing just what you do --Listen, but no more advice they don't want it.

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  14. Great message here sweet Jo! Big hugs to you my friend! xo

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Your comments enrich my soul. I love hearing from you.

ON WISDOM............................................

"THE ART OF WISDOM IS KNOWING WHEN TO SPEAK YOUR MIND....AND WHEN TO MIND YOUR SPEECH." Don't know where I found t...